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All day I stressed over going to get the order. All day I tried to get dressed, get my paper work together, stop being afraid.
I was shaking as I got in my car....really shaking all over.
Once in the parking lot I texted all I knew to send good thoughts my way. It didn't enter my mind at the time that some didn't know what was happening that day...

Legal Aide guided me through this process as best they could. No one could represent me as they were backed up and no one was available. I talked to someone by phone and they told me step by step what to do now (I took detailed notes)

Not sure how long I stayed in my car in the parking lot staring at the court house....finally I was able to get out and walk up the stairs. At one point I almost backed out....I made a call and had someone to talk to right up until I entered the building. (I'm one of the lucky ones..many don't have anyone to turn to)

I asked for the paper I needed to fill out and set at a table provided and did the best I could. I had all police reports, dr reports, dates of what happened when.....I was told I needed to have it all completed by a certain time or I wouldn't be seen that day. Was kicking my self for taking so long to get here but...I filled out the paper.

Next I was taken to another room and sworn in. I waited for the judge and tried to focus on what to say and not to ramble. (I was told not to ramble when talking to the judge.....)

The jude comes in...he looks at the paper and ask me to tell what happened...

I rambled no matter how hard I tried not to.... I kept stopping myself and asked him if I could show him my notes to get the dates right. He told me it was ok and to keep talking. He listened as I told all that had been happening.
He asked me some questions. One was "Did he hit you?"   I said "No, he never hit me" "he threw things at me, broke things, locked me in the bedroom,  would throw furniture around..." The judge asked more questions and I answered.... The event from June was talked about , the event from Sept was talked about (we had to get guns away from him that day),  the suicide threats that had become a daily thing.

I finished by telling the judge that I was tired of looking over my shoulder all the time, jumping every time Lilo(our pet dog) barked, being afraid every time a car went by the house, and not being able to get out of the house myself.... (I had finally been able to call my GP to get some medicine for anxiety, it took me a week to make the call he had been my GP for for than 20 years...)
 The judge: "You've been to see a dr?"  I said, "yes..I couldn't move. It took me a week to make the call to him....it took me all day to get here"

The temporary order was granted. The judge told me I had to take the papers they gave me to the county the abuser now lived in. He made sure I understood this had to happen now and I couldn't put it off. The envelope had to stay sealed..I had only a short time before the court date and I had to get the paperwork there asap. The sheriff dept in that county would serve him but I had to take it to them.

I don't know if I ever stopped shaking that day...and now I had to make sure I was able to get to the next county....

I did.


 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224.
http://www.ndvh.org/

I want to add here that a restraining order is only a piece of paper and won't stop the abuser. Sometimes it will only make them more angry  and you'll be in more harm...this is something you'll have to decide....for me, it gave me some peace of mind. I have it with me at all times and if he contacts me or my family  in anyway he'll be arrested. The order is good in all states. When he is stopped for any reason and his license checked it shows up to all officers too. They then can make sure none of us are with him. (kidnapping)
 
Another great place for information:
A Woman With A Mission