mysteriousworkings.com

Quick Involvement

Many victims of abuse dated or knew their abuser for less than six months before they were engaged or living together. The abuser will often claim 'love at first sight', that you are 'made for each other', or that you are the only person whom he could ever talk to so openly, feel so at home with, could understand him so well. He/she may tell you that they have never loved anyone so much or felt so loved by anyone so much before, when you have really only known each other for a short amount of time. He/she needs someone desperately, and will pressure you to commit to him/her or make love before you feel the relationship has reached 'that stage'. He/she may also make you feel guilty for not committing yourself to him/her.http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Abuser/signs.htm

I didn't see the signs...or maybe I did and just ignored them.
The first thing was a very quick involvement. He told me he loved me very quickly and insisted I was in love with him as well. When I told him I didn't love him and it would take time to know him before I could even consider that he still insisted I was in love with him. "You know you love me" is what he said.
We hadn't even met in person yet. We began talking online. He has a site I went to and that's how we met.

My reason for being online  so much? I had just had a cerebral  aneurysm surgery and couldn't do much of anything else. I wasn't allowed to drive, I couldn't read as I once had, ( books were always with me before and I usually read more than one at a time....the surgery made it so my short term memory was non-existent for a while)  all my activities had come to a complete stop. And I mean everything.....my youngest son, who was 10 at the time, had to learn to do most things for himself. I had help from family when they could yet on a daily basis we were on our own. He even did his own laundry   I can't tell you how many trips I took each day to check the mail  Sleeping was a problem too with all the medications I had to take. So I went to the computer ...I was able to focus on the short burst of information I found there .(even if it didn't stay in my mind for long)

He knew this about me.

I had been absent from his site for about a week  (I was in hospital with pneumonia and pleurisy) and he sent me a pm asking where I was.....we hadn't talked much up to that point but this is the time it became a daily occurrence. (hourly actually)
Of course I was flattered...... There were other women he talked too on his site and others that he said he loved too. He denied this of course but some came to me and let me know...even shared the emails he sent to them with me)
He loved me and was sure I was in love with him. Nothing I said made a difference. He decided he wanted us to meet in person. Yes, I also wanted to meet. I thought this would be fun. He lived too far away for anything to really come of it and it was perfect for me at that time in my life. I wasn't looking for a relationship...too much going on in my life.

We met. It was wonderful! Lots of fun, laughing, playing.....we enjoyed each others company.
This was in mid  April....he wanted to move in after a few visits. I said I wasn't ready....it was too soon. We continued to see  each other and talk by phone and online. Things got too intense for several reasons and I broke it off in June.

No, it wasn't over....

After we hadn't  seen each other for awhile he sent me this:
(yes, it had been 100 days exactly)
Here Without You